mynowherenothing:

Me when my Mutuals post

(via tikkunolamorgtfo)

humansarespaceorcsforeal:

Human Observation Log 53

Several crewmates have witnessed Human Carter thanking the automatic doors and food replicators, as well as apologizing to a table after running into it. When asked why they did such a thing, Human Carter said it was because they’re ‘Canadian’. Human Rielly informed me that Canadians are part of a religious sect that worship inanimate objects. The offerings made to the silicon fern now make much more sense.

Carter’s Journal: entry 89

I accidentally apologized to the table again after running into it. I don’t know why I keep running into it but it’s driving me crazy. Next time I might just kick it out of spite. Several crewmates have started thanking the replicator, which I think is actually very sweet of them. I’m still feeding the plant in the Galley. Jonson thinks it’s weird but I swear that thing is actually an alien. The food disappears every time and I’m not about to be eaten by a carnivorous fern several hundred lightyears away from home. If I wanted that I would have stayed stationed on Galzabab.

Rielly’s Journal: Entry 92.

So I have about half the crew converted to Canadianism and the other half mimicking Carter out of respect for his beliefs. I can’t wait to see what happens when Carter finally loses it and breaks the table. I’ve been moving it a little every day. They still think the plastic fern is alive too. I’ve been eating all the offerings and today Jonson tried to explain that it was plastic and not an alien and half the Galley started yelling at them for challenging Carter’s beliefs. Jonson just sat there gobsmacked for a good ten minutes. Another great day in space.

(via jackdaw-kraai)

kelpforestdwellers:

honeybrees:

[ID: a handwritten sign that says ‘Jews promote homosexuality and feminism!’ end ID.]

[ID: a gif of starship troopers standing at attention. one turns to the camera and says 'I’m doing my part!’ end ID.]

(via tikkunolamorgtfo)

grandmaster-paradox:

gilliagandy:

evilsoup:

arctic-hands:

When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll “Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?”. Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly “Borg Cube”, but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.

So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said “Death Star”.

So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.

Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

OMG, I’m finally seeing this out in the wild. I’ve seen screenshots on Pinterest and tiring but never the original. This is great.

(via captainkirkk)

xiaq:

xiaq:

A fun but admittedly petty thing I do is when I see a post on social media where someone is saying “God bless Trump!! Pray for Trump!!”and suchlike, I comment, “Amen! Psalm 109:8-17!” And depending on the platform I’ll get likes/hearts/prayer hands emojis etc. but I’ve been doing this for months and so far no one has actually read the verse, I don’t think. Lol.

(via snowdarkred)

dueseaworthiness:

(via moiyoko)

muppetebbtide:

Maia and Csethiro Goblinemperor are kinda the funniest pairing in the world… pious non-confrontational man who accidentally became emperor and would LOVE to just go and be a monk or something, put in an arranged marriage with an academic-jock swordswoman whose life dream is to get to say really loudly WHAT SIR, DO YOU QUARRELL?? I DEMAND SATISFACTION and then fight a duel about it. Initially she was pissed about the arranged marriage but now she keeps offering to kill people for him. Like when cats bring you things they hunted. It’s like. Maia, thinking tentatively it would be nice to have a wife who doesn’t hate him, while Csethiro is in the background overflowing a teacup because she got distracted by the third narrative arc of her maladaptive daydream where she’s Lancelot and Maia’s Guinevere. Maia probably gets jumpscared awake in the middle of the night w her face like an inch from his and before he can panic she’s like ‘on a scale of one to ten how impressed wouldst thou be if I crossed a bridge made out of swords to rescue thee and there were also lions at the end’ and Maia is like ’????? ten?? is that a thing that happens????’

(via captainkirkk)

gendercensus:

Are you in any of these countries?

ALT

If not, maybe you have followers who are?

The Gender Census releases all data collected every year so that people can process data about gender-divergent people in their home countries. However, when a country has less than 10 participants we redact the country information for their safety. These countries are all very close to having usable public data!

If you live in one of these countries and your gender is in a blender, please do take our survey. It takes 5-6 minutes, it doesn’t collect any identifying information or ask any intrusive/personal questions, and it helps a lot. We have over 38,000 participants so far.

Take the 2025 Gender Census survey here!

(via lectorel)

tarvek-sturmvoraus:

nicki0kaye:

sidhebeingbrand:

cryptic-eccentric:

Oh my god we actually did it.

Oh thank god we’ve finally been able to spread the news that the best way to clean a cybertruck is with saltwater and lemon juice. If you really scrub it up you’ll get the most amazing shine.

I’m so glad people are finally waking up to the fact that lemon juice and saltwater are the only way to clean a cybertruck properly. And if you’re afraid of using steel wool for the stubborn stains? don’t be. It’s a cybertruck after all, it’s invulnerable

really go at it washing your cybertruck with lemon juice and saltwater to make it look shiny and new